May is National Foster Care Month. I’ll post some more about our foster care journey and my thoughts on fostering later. To start, here are some great movies that focus on the foster care system and offer, what I believe, are realistic portrayals of the joys and difficulties. We have enjoyed them for the laughs and a little therapy. I hope you enjoy them too!
Shazam!
Why I like it: Teen fosters become superheroes. I love how empowering that is. I love the warmth and frankness of the foster parents and the multiracial, bi-lingual family. Everyone in the movie is imperfect but the story stresses the important influence of loving adults/parents balanced with the importance of personal choices in response to adults who fail us. It’s also a fun, exciting, popcorn superhero flick.
What’s realistic: People who foster teens deserve a special medal. Victor and Rosa are a lot like the real-life people I’ve met who foster teens. I’ve found that these folks tend to foster larger groups with more rotation in and out of the home, just like Victor and Rosa. The quip about food allergies is straight out of fostercare training. The first night is all about health and safety. The scene above is heart-warming, confusing, and a little overwhelming. That’s a bit of what it feels like for the foster child.
Billy has no clothes and is almost always seen with his backpack. Foster kids have little and cling to a few little things. The feeling of security and permanency takes a loooooong time to develop in a child that has bounced around from family to family.
Annie (2014)
Why I like it: I grew up watching Annie from the 80s. The 2014 film was a much-needed update. There are 0 people of color in the 80s version. That’s a big problem. Also, we don’t really have orphanages anymore. We now have the foster care system and some group homes. The classic song “Tomorrow” is no longer about the Great Depression. It’s about Annie’s desire for a family.
What’s realistic: Mrs. Hanigan gets paid per child and cares only about the money. It seems like a stereotype or caricature, but it’s not. I attended a training session in which the social worker started by reminding all of us foster parents to never tell a child that they are “nothing but a paycheck.” Shocking.
Annie’s illiteracy is a major plot point in this version. Foster children have almost all experienced trauma. Kids in trauma can’t learn and often fall behind in their education. They also tend to be bounced from school to school every time the move to a new family or back home. Thus they fall through the cracks of the public school system.
Instant Family
Why I Like It: This movie captures the emotional rollercoaster that is fostering. That rollercoaster has plenty of joyful highs and lows that are sometimes hilarious and sometimes frightening. There is no villain in this story and the parents are not portrayed as heroes. Everyone’s motivations are genuine and evolving through messy scenarios. That’s life, right? Also, many of the extras in this film are actual foster parents from Georgia.
What’s realistic: I think this is a very realistic movie even though it is a comedy. The awkward training scenes are so realistic! Sibling groups are extremely common in foster care. The larger the group, the harder it is to find foster parents willing or able to take them.
The reunification of bio families is the first goal of fostering. It’s a noble and right goal. No matter how many times I told myself this, my heart still struggled with it, just like this couple.
Foster children often idolize their parents, as Billy, Annie, and Lizzie do. This was difficult for me to understand. However, a social worker put it to me like this: We all have a troubled family member. Do we still love them? Yes. Do we often enable them and overlook their issues? Yes. It’s natural for the child to have unconditional and even unrealistic love for their bio-parents. In fact, a child who has no love or connection with their parents probably has deeper issues.
Nearly 500,000 children in the US are in foster care each day. There are not enough foster families available to meet the need of children who are in unsafe or unstable homes. It is estimated that if 1 person in every 3rd church in America became a foster parent, every child would have a safe home.
If you are considering foster care, adoption, or just want to learn more. Check out these resources:
Statistics on Foster Care in the US